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REVIEW: The Nun

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Corin Hardy’s ‘The Nun’, the next entry in the popular Conjuring universe, officially arrived this week and it focused on the demon Valak, who takes the form of an evil Nun, who was featured prominently throughout The Conjuring 2.

Per the synopsis, “When a young nun at a cloistered abbey in Romania takes her own life, a priest with a haunted past and a novitiate on the threshold of her final vows are sent by the Vatican to investigate. Together, they uncover the order’s unholy secret. Risking not only their lives but their faith and their very souls, they confront a malevolent force in the form of a demonic nun.”

Sister Irene (Taissa Farmiga) is mysteriously summoned to join Father Burke (Demin Bichir) as he investigates the suicide of a nun at a cloistered abbey in Romania, per orders from the Vatican. During their investigation they meet Frenchie (Jonas Bloquet) who is a local farmer that also makes supply deliveries at the abbey, and was the unfortunate person to find the dead nun.

Frenchie leads them to the abbey where both Sister Irene and Father Burke continue their investigation.

The movie is a complete mess, with no direction, no story, and pointless scenes that just lead you to another jump scare, which is all this movie is. Hardy’s approach is nothing but a money grab, and I found it to be lazy, as the story, the behavior of characters, and the dialogue was so bland and disjointed from the flow of the film, and a complete departure from anything that made The Conjuring scary or interesting.

It’s a shame because Valak’s demonic Nun is actually the creepiest character in the universe, and this film could have been so much more, but ended up not being much of anything.

After Frenchie’s encounter with a demon in the cemetery, in which I laughed, I knew this movie was going to be nothing like any Conjuring entry I had seen, and would be a complete stinker. At least, I wasn’t disappointed after that.

Nonsense floods this movie, so much so that nothing anyone does, says, or how any scene plays out seem to have any true meaning, purpose, or explain anything. If you like jump scares, this may entertain you for a few minutes. Aside from Valak, and the ending which ties to the original Conjuring entry via a flashback, this movie is a complete waste of both money, and time.

I did come to once conclusion: Unless James Wan is behind the camera for a Conjuring film, odds are it won’t be anything like a Conjuring film.

It feels like Hardy cashed in on the Conjuring popularity, took the money, delivered this junk, and ran.

Fright Nerd Score
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Summary
Nonsense floods this movie, so much so that nothing anyone does, says, or how any scene plays out seem to have any true meaning, purpose, or explain anything. If you like jump scares, this may entertain you for a few minutes. Aside from Valak, and the ending which ties to the original Conjuring entry via a flashback, this movie is a complete waste of both money, and time.
Fright Nerd Score20
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REVIEW: Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

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Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

This past weekend, and with much anticipation, Andre Ovredal’s ‘Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark’ hit theaters.

According to the synopsis: “The shadow of the Bellows family has loomed large in the small town of Mill Valley for generations. It’s in a mansion that young Sarah Bellows turns her tortured life and horrible secrets into a series of scary stories. These terrifying tales soon have a way of becoming all too real for a group of unsuspecting teens who stumble upon Sarah’s spooky home.”

Despite the promising premise, I couldn’t find anything to differentiate this film from the run-of-the-mill Goosebumps installment, which left it lacking in many areas, and buried it so deep in stupidity that not even their strong displays of special effects made this a worthwhile time investment.

I couldn’t find a reason to care about any of the main characters such as Stella (Zoe Margaret Colleti) or Ramon (Michael Garza) because this film simply failed to hold my attention.

Rooted in compelling horror stories that may have done well if done completely different, this fill clunked and bored it’s way from start to finish.

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Eli Roth-Produced ‘Haunt’ Arrives in September

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haunt

‘Haunt’, which is a new film produced by Eli Roth and directed by Scott Beck and Bryan Woods, the writing team behind ‘A Quiet Place’, has dropped a new trailer ahead of it’s arrival.

‘Haunt’ is set to make it’s world premier at Popcorn Frights, and will head to theaters on September 13th.

According to the synopsis: “On Halloween, a group of friends encounter an “extreme” haunted house that promises to feed on their darkest fears. The night turns deadly as they come to the horrifying realization that some monsters are real.”

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A Haunted Ship Sets Sail in ‘Mary’

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Mary

RLJE Films has dropped a trailer for ‘Mary’, which they recently acquired and have slated for release in theaters, and on digital and VOD on October 11th.

Starring Gary Oldman and Emily Mortimer, the movie tells the tale of:

“David (Oldman) is a struggling blue-collar captain looking to make a better life for his family. Strangely drawn to an abandoned ship that is up for auction, David impulsively buys the boat, believing it will be his family’s ticket to happiness and prosperity. But soon after they embark on their maiden journey, strange and frightening events begin to terrorize David and his family, causing them to turn on one another and doubt their own sanity. With tensions high, the ship drifts off course, and it becomes horrifyingly clear that they are being lured to an even greater evil out at sea.”

Check out the official trailer below:

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