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REVIEW: Crawl

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Crawl

What is summer without it’s fair share of monster movies? Crawl decided to go the alligator route in their horror-thriller that hit theaters in July.

According to the film’s synopsis: “When a massive hurricane hits her Florida town, young Haley ignores the evacuation orders to search for her missing father, Dave. After finding him gravely injured in their family home, the two of them become trapped by the rapidly encroaching floodwaters. With the storm strengthening, Haley and Dave discover an even greater threat than the rising water level — a relentless attack from a pack of gigantic alligators.”

Coming to terms with what the movie is, prior to seeing it, didn’t help soften the blow of a moronic, predictable, and otherwise boring flick that seems to have won over a ton of critics, shockingly.

While it may seem moronic on my part to question the realism in a movie such as Crawl, I cannot help but express my irritation seeing the main character Haley (Kaya Scodelario) walking around during the initial touchdown of a Category 5 hurricane, with nothing but a raincoat, as if the high winds are merely a breeze, while others are evacuating.

From there Haley continues to stumble upon her incredible super powers, which apparently include finding passed out relatives under the foundation of a house….during a hurricane.

Yeah, the kills were cool, at times. But the balancing of killer alligators and a redemption story (of sorts) couldn’t save a movie that was completely unwatchable, and frustratingly boring.

While you’ll likely find more positive reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, IMD, and Google, I am just not in that boat.

This was terrible from start to finish.

Fright Nerd Score
35 frights
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Summary
Coming to terms with what the movie is, prior to seeing it, didn't help soften the blow of a moronic, predictable, and otherwise boring flick that seems to have won over a ton of critics, shockingly.
Fright Nerd Score35
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REVIEW: Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

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Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark

This past weekend, and with much anticipation, Andre Ovredal’s ‘Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark’ hit theaters.

According to the synopsis: “The shadow of the Bellows family has loomed large in the small town of Mill Valley for generations. It’s in a mansion that young Sarah Bellows turns her tortured life and horrible secrets into a series of scary stories. These terrifying tales soon have a way of becoming all too real for a group of unsuspecting teens who stumble upon Sarah’s spooky home.”

Despite the promising premise, I couldn’t find anything to differentiate this film from the run-of-the-mill Goosebumps installment, which left it lacking in many areas, and buried it so deep in stupidity that not even their strong displays of special effects made this a worthwhile time investment.

I couldn’t find a reason to care about any of the main characters such as Stella (Zoe Margaret Colleti) or Ramon (Michael Garza) because this film simply failed to hold my attention.

Rooted in compelling horror stories that may have done well if done completely different, this fill clunked and bored it’s way from start to finish.

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Eli Roth-Produced ‘Haunt’ Arrives in September

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haunt

‘Haunt’, which is a new film produced by Eli Roth and directed by Scott Beck and Bryan Woods, the writing team behind ‘A Quiet Place’, has dropped a new trailer ahead of it’s arrival.

‘Haunt’ is set to make it’s world premier at Popcorn Frights, and will head to theaters on September 13th.

According to the synopsis: “On Halloween, a group of friends encounter an “extreme” haunted house that promises to feed on their darkest fears. The night turns deadly as they come to the horrifying realization that some monsters are real.”

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A Haunted Ship Sets Sail in ‘Mary’

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Mary

RLJE Films has dropped a trailer for ‘Mary’, which they recently acquired and have slated for release in theaters, and on digital and VOD on October 11th.

Starring Gary Oldman and Emily Mortimer, the movie tells the tale of:

“David (Oldman) is a struggling blue-collar captain looking to make a better life for his family. Strangely drawn to an abandoned ship that is up for auction, David impulsively buys the boat, believing it will be his family’s ticket to happiness and prosperity. But soon after they embark on their maiden journey, strange and frightening events begin to terrorize David and his family, causing them to turn on one another and doubt their own sanity. With tensions high, the ship drifts off course, and it becomes horrifyingly clear that they are being lured to an even greater evil out at sea.”

Check out the official trailer below:

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